Okay, I feel like a total loser right now.
I'm supposedly job hunting which consists of me looking through all the postings on-line, deciding that I am either over qualified, not qualified or that I refuse to work for very little money.
On top of it all I am eating a whole pack of Jaffa cakes. And I don't even like Jaffa cakes. But they are there, so I eat them. I start off by eating one, thinking to myself that that has got to be the worst thing I have ever eaten. Then I decide that maybe my taste buds were a little off and that they might have changed in the past 20 seconds, so I eat another one. Now I'm not sure whether that second Jaffa cake was better or worse than the first one, so I eat one more. I then realize it's like alcohol. The first shot is awful, the second not much better, but after 4, 5 or 6 shots it's not that bad. And so the whole entire pack of Jaffa cakes is gone. Even the ones I told myself I would save for my children to get their opinion. But then I thought it would be cruel to have them eat something that wasn't good. That's being a good mother, isn't it? Albeit a mother who will get fat and die from heart disease because she ate that whole pack of god awful terrible Jaffa cakes.
Anyways, back to the job hunt. When I look at the postings I always come up with these scenarios that I probably shouldn't share with you, but you can choose to stop reading.
I am always drawn to the strange postings.
Why be a secretary when you can be a phone sex operator?
Why be a teaching assistant when someone is looking for women to participate in cat fights?
Why slave away in an office when you could be a street performer on The Royal Mile?
Why be a recruitment consultant when you can learn to drive a double decker bus?
The truth is there aren't a lot of jobs out there right now and the ones I do apply for (which is quite a few, and yes, they are quite boring, but so is the real me), I never hear back from.
So, I keep looking and reaching for those awful Jaffa cakes that are long gone.
P.S. I really don't like Jaffa cakes. Not at all. Not one bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment