Musical Chairs. Without the music

In the morning when I get on the bus (I mostly walk to and from work) there are some decisions to be made.
The easy one is whether or not to pick up a Metro and read it. I pick it up and bring it to work.
The next decision which isn't all that easy is where to sit.
If the bus is empty I prefer to sit by the window on the right hand side of the bus. Not right behind the driver, but before the rear wheel.
If there are loads of people on the bus, like this morning, I have to think quick.
I scan the right hand side of the bus and there are three seats available.
All seats are aisle seats.
First seat is next to a tourist. If I sit there one of two things can happen. It'll either be a quiet ride because the tourist speaks no English and actually know where he/she is going. Or I can end up in the situation of acting as a tour guide for the duration of the bus ride. Usually this includes a few games such as "What are these coins?", "Why doesn't the castle look like a castle?" or my all time favourite:"What should we see today, where should we eat and where should we shop, and do you mind marking it all on our map and write a description of each place." seriously, it happens.
Seat number two is next to a young Asian woman reading a book.
Again, either she keeps reading the book or the second I sit down she outs away the book , takes out her iPhone and starts talking so loudly she doesn't even need the phone.
Seat 3 is next to a creepy looking man hiding his hand under a Metro placed across his crotch. I don't even consider that seat for obvious reasons.
Today I chose to sit next to book reading woman which turned out to be quite amusing as she was reading Fifty Shades of Grey and her face was turning fifty shades of red. I considered for a brief moment to bite my lip and say Oh My, but I didn't. If you know me you'll know that was a very mature decision for me.
The one thing that really ticks me off on this bus ride? If someone else so getting off at my stop and they ring the bell before I do. I like ringing the bell. And once it's been rung once there's no need to ring it again. That's when I casually accidentally lean against the button so the bell rings again. Not so mature. But fun. And satisfying.
Wanna ride a bus with me? Didn't think so.